Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's great music for shaving your balls
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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