No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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