READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just want nice things and good sex
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
