So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
