fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize