Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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