I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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