As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
