The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
