it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
