I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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