No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.