The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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