Where is the hickey?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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