i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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