FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
