it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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