Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i think i just lost a toe
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
