best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
