Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
