I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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