Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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