Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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