Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
