chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
