I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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