Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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