i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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