Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival