I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
