Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
