i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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