Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
