Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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