I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
