I wannas sexs uuuuu
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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