I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize