dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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