My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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