Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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