The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
