I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize