some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
