I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
