Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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