Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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