yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
