Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
