I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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