If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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