two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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