That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That accounts for only three of the penises
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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