wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How does one acquire holy water?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
